My Extended Essay Is Due Tomorrow

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It appears that people are speaking to you in binary code. You have great revelations concerning Life, the Universe, and Everything else, but can't quite find the words for them before the white glow fades, leaving you more confused than before.

You discover the aesthetic beauty of school supplies. You begin to talk to yourself, then disagree about the subject, get into a nasty row about it, lose, and refuse to talk to yourself for the rest of the day.

You write stories and give them to other people to analyze for you because you don't understand them. You were a pair of antennae (deedleyboppers) on your head and think you're a water molecule. The fact that "wear" is spelled wrong in #29 bothers you.

You forget the meaning of the words "free time" yet remember the meaning of "literary analysis" (n. You have complicated dreams about graphing circles and ellipses. You take over the hallways in the morning before school, unloading your bookbag and settling in for a 30-minute homework party. You walk in the movement patterns of a knight to improve your chess strategy while you nap on your way to your next class.

Your smile of satisfaction fades when you remember to start on your World Lit paper. You've sold your soul ⦠and have to wait 4 years to get it back. You cloned yourself so you could sell your clones' souls to each of your teachers. Desperate to fill up your CAS hours, you claim watching a black and white movie as "creativity" and walking your dog as "activity", and your teacher approves it. You have a special "test writing sweater" that you wore to all the IB exams. Your idea of impure thoughts is whether or not to copy math homework. You can count your first math quiz grade on one hand. You wonder if there's Spark Notes on the Calculus book. You don't really cheat - you just tell people the answers. Cheating became too difficult, so you took up telepathy.

My Extended Essay Is Due Tomorrow Sample Prospectus For A Research Paper

You manage to complete a semesters worth of homework the day before the term ends. You finish your extended essay shortly after midnight. You have 15 library cards each under a different alias. You searched all the books in the local public library, so you found a loophole that allowed you to check out books from the local university stacks. Your list of excuses for not doing your homework is the length of Anna Karenina. You exceed the 4200 word limit on the Extended Essay (by over 1000 words). The simplest words you know are at least 10 letters long. You ask what your summer reading assignment will be in October. You come into school at am to do Biology and don't complain. You get dirty looks from the Regular Kids in your homeroom. It takes more than one trip to carry the books you need between your car and your locker. You carry around SAT vocab flash cards to whip out in your free time. You can list all 5 definitions on vocabulary tests. When you are home sick, you can't help but wonder what work you're missing and what your homework is. When you're watching TV, you feel guilty because not all of your homework is done. That was a lie, you don't watch TV (except for NBC News at 6). You show up 4 hours late to an IB test and still manage to get a "5". During a Chemistry test, instead of doing the work, you write a random answer program in your TI-83 Silver Edition and get the highest score in the class. Your idea of great art is simultaneously graphing the sine, cosine and tangent graphs on your calculator. You have functioning electrical appliances in your locker. You actually believe "mental health days" are excused absences. Brewing coffee takes too long, so you just eat the beans. You're afraid of sunlight since you haven't seen it in 3 years. You have theoretical physics discussions at parties. The number on your screen name corresponds to the page number that character you use for your screen name has an appearance in the book you got it from. Whenever you're watching a movie you find all the motifs and themes ... You go to bed at 3 AM and think, "Oh, it's an early night! Your favorite saying is "If I get a hundred on every test for the rest of the year ..." 42. You use your To K background to analyze Winnie the Pooh's Book of Quotations. When asked what significance Hitler had to Racial Social Darwinism, you say "Well, he didn't like Jews." 163. You've mastered the art of procrastination so well that your research paper finishes printing just seconds before you have to leave for school. You get to college and realize the classes you are taking seem really familiar. Your college professors' grading systems seem a little too lenient. You managed to write 4,000 words on the subject "Hitler was a nice guy, wasn't he? You've managed to get through an entire year of History of the Americas without reading one page of your test book. You are already planning where your lockers will be next year. At least 4 of your classes (history, english, TOK, psychology) are talking about almost the same thing, or at least you think they are ... You start analyzing random books, song lyrics, and street signs. You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing you've said it before. You haven't seen light in so long you glow in the dark. You find yourself thinking "Without stress my life would be empty." 148. You wonder about things like what would happen if your car traveled at the speed of light and your turned your lights on. Everything you know about sex, you learned from the English reading list. You enjoy finding out the hard way why normal distribution should work.


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